the boy who wants to wish

i sat looking through a glass that was tainted with dust and gloom.
it never appeared to me but it did at that time...when i was looking at his reflection.
his face was burned or i would imagined him with a scar that evoked attention.i would never admit it to him,but if he only would lift a smile than the scar so clearly visable to me would surely be ignored by all my impulses,but i was only boy,or in my mind i felt like one - the epitamy of youth and loss.He was with me like a burden,like the heavy cross i should imagined the saviour carried for all creation.he was a calm figure with angst and cold hate giving life to his reasoning and emotion--with all his might he wanted to protect me against the world.He whispered,He watched me shrink into the cluthces of my own selfloothing...as i wished to be something else,some other form from a distant planet,not in this skin,not having to look at me with my wounds,him with his scar..i so wanted to believe his secret torments-and i rememberd that i gave him all the power.what i wished for came to my bed,and slept cradling my humanity and seduced me with madness.there is nothing to wish for -there is no peace to reveal the chaos within.